Beer Review: Wailua Wheat, Passion Fruit Beer

Let's cut to the chase. It's not a good beer. What a shock huh? I have to admit I haven't eaten enough passion fruit in my life to be able to quickly identify the flavor, but I'm fairly sure it's not in this beer. This actually has a grape flavor. In fact it tastes a lot like someone mixed a Corona (without lime) and a cheap dry white wine together. Not exactly a great flavor sensation, though not nearly as bad as say orange juice and toothpaste (or Redrum and anything else on Earth). I will admit it does get better with a few sips, and begins to take on more of a citris flavor, but the bottom line is this beer isn't going to win any awards.

As to how I managed to track down a Hawaiian beer in Florida, it was mainly luck. One of our local grocery stores, that has a surpringly good selection of beers had it off to the side. Recently I was speaking to a friend of mine from Hawaii about beer, and he and he mentioned that there are a surprising number of breweries in Hawaii. Many them do some pretty wild things with the flavors, so I should try some out if I get the chance. Interesting enough I thought. So when I saw this, I figured I'd give it a shot.

Turns out this brewery is trying to go national and play up the exotic qualities of the beer. I suppose if you're trying to target people who think Molson Ice is exotic, then maybe they've got a chance. So it's same to say that Wailua Wheat is pretty much the Molson Ice of Hawaii.

In conclusion, it wasn't good but it's not so bad that I'm going to let it gather dust in the fridge, or try to pawn it off at someone's expense. I certainly won't pick it up again, but I've done much worse.

RedRum - Murder would be kinder alternative

The best thing I can say about Redrum is that is does have a clever name going for it. For the slow kids in the room, "redrum" is the word "murder" spelled backwards, and was first introduced by a disturbed little boy in Stephen King's novel "The Shining." Additionally, Redrum is actually bottled in a red bottle. Clever, clever, clever. The boys in Brand Development done good. Unfortunately, this concludes the only positive things that can be said about Redrum.

Truthfully I can't offer the most accurate review for this rum, as I spit it out almost immediately after taking a sip. It was that bad. I'd rather get a kick in the nuts with a steel toed boot before drinking this shit again. However, I do remember a distinct aftertaste of rubbing alcohol and sugar. So in regards to the flavor I will default to the website of Three-D Spirits, the distiller who makes this monstrosity in a bottle:

If you couldn't guess, RedRum is "rum." To be more specific, RedRum is distilled from pure Caribbean sugarcane and infused with natural mango, pineapple, coconut, and cherry flavors. We bottle RedRum at 70-proof, in a cool red bottle -- an industry first!

Not much of an indication of flavor, other than a random mishmash of fruit flavored rum that failed to live up to the Trashcan Punch theory which states, "if you mix enough fruit flavors and it's bound to taste okay."

However, once again Brand Development has done a great job. It's always important to accentuate the positive and the unique elements. In this case saying it tastes like rubbing alcohol and sugar really isn't a good thing, and there are plenty of other crappy rum out there so it's not terribly unique either. But a red bottle. . . hey now that is special. If you're the kind of person who likes red bottles, then this may be the rum for you. . .assuming of course you never drink it.

I really cannot say enough bad things about this rum. There just aren't enough words in the thesaurus for "god awful." Stay away from Redrum. I can't even say it should be served to people you don't like, as there are plenty of cheaper crappy rums out there.

Your Moment of Zen

About a year ago I was hanging out at local liquor store when I saw the above beverage. Zen, the green tea liqueur. I think it's kind of interesting how they're trying to turn green tea into the new vanilla. You know, adding the flavor into just about everything they can. Anyway it piqued my interest. I enjoy alcohol, and I enjoy green tea. And in such a pretty bottle. How can I lose? Still at $30 a bottle it was a bit much for me to experiment with.

One year later I'm back at that same liquor store when I see the bottles of Zen at the check-out counter this time. . . and for only $6. Well now this is a deal! How can I refuse? I should have though. I mean, when something gets reduced in price by 80%, that's generally a sign that it's bad and nobody likes it, but I'm afraid I just didn't get it. It's that same obliviousness that more or less prevents me from knowing when a woman is flirting with me.

Getting back to the drink though. It's quite nasty. It tastes like a cross between cough medicine and green tea ice cream. I tried it two different ways; over ice and with tonic water (one of the suggested methods), and both were just plain, old fashioned, kick in the crotch bad.

Since the initial experiments I've tried it a few other ways and they've all failed. Many claim that it's a good replacement for drinks that use Jager or any kind of herb-flavored alcohols. These people must all be alcoholics because so long as you can taste the Zen, the drink is doomed.

The Zen website (http://www.zenliqueur.com/) offers a couple other drink ideas and recipes that sound like they could be good, and it's such a good looking site I'm inclined to believe that one of these drinks will work. Once I find that recipe I shall let all of you know. Or perhaps more appropriately, IF I find that drink. . .